they even make a calendar!
My friend Melanie Bates has a theory that we already have what we want (to some degree or other) …
… we just don’t realize it yet.
And that if we could just see where our desire is already manifest, we would become a better match for more.
I’m inclined to agree.
Especially after this happened:
A week or so ago I volunteered for a puppy transport from Louisiana to Washington. I got the leg from Evanston to Salt Lake.
I told my ex I’d be gone next Saturday night since I was driving a couple puppies across town.
He asked if I wanted company. Very out of character for him to show any interest in any of my animal-related stuff.
I said sure, knowing he would either forget, or be out of town, or still be on the golf course. No big deal, I’m used to doing my thing without him.
But I forwarded him a copy of the email with transport details even though I knew he probably wouldn’t be involved.
In the meantime, the transport coordinator is exchanging a bunch of emails with everyone to coordinate the trip.
Everyone’s asking things like how big are the crates, will they fit in my car, where should we meet, what’s your cell, expected weather delays, etc.
A whole bunch of people are involved in this transport. (It is so cool to see so many strangers coming together to help get two little pups to their forever home on the other side of the country!)
I admire everyone involved so much, and I’m just delighted to be part of this effort.
Okay, so I’m happy to be involved and my inbox keeps getting updated with new emails in this conversation, which I’m largely ignoring.
But one reply gets my attention.
It’s a guy’s name, first of all. Which is rare in itself because animal rescue is mostly a lot of women.
You don’t see guys here too often unless it’s someone’s husband, and single guys get snatched up fast in this world. (Who doesn’t love a guy who volunteers to help out animals?! Everyone does!)
Including me.
I made a mental note that there was a hot guy somewhere in this transport. (Of course he’s hot, he’s in animal rescue. That’s my kind of guy!)
And get this – he was super excited to be included.
You know how your inbox previews the first sentence of the email? This guy was saying something like, “So excited to be part of this. Can’t wait to meet the pups.” He was enthusiastic!
I was like, man. If I had access to a guy like that … whew! It’d be ON. But he’s probably in Texas or something. And probably married, too, so cool your jets, girl.
This rescue work isn’t for meeting men. Not right now, anyway, while I’m still doing an on again off again routine with my ex.
So the day passes, and later that night I catch up on emails.
And I read that note from the guy I’m trying not to pay attention to. The guy who is excited to be part of this transport and can’t wait to meet the puppies.
I notice he has the same name as my ex. (Seriously, you just don’t see guys in this gig every day!)
I continue on to read his note to the group.
Except it’s not to the group.
It’s a note to me. I’m the only recipient. What?! Why would he be writing me?!
That makes no sense. Who is this guy?! I look again. I must be wrong.
Sure enough, his note is just to me. And it reads:
“Super excited to be part of this. Can’t wait to meet the pups.”
And the next line that I couldn’t see in just preview mode says, “Love you.” wth?!
Now it’s getting weird.
I look at the signature line.
It’s an email from my guy. Not some guy on the other side of the country.
It’s from the guy I already live with!
The guy I thought wasn’t into this sort of thing. The guy I was sure would forget about it or flake out at the last minute.
The guy I’ve written off many times because we just don’t see eye to eye on stuff like this that matters to me.
Because he just doesn’t care about the things I care about.
He’s excited. He can’t wait.
Oh, Melanie.
How could I have been so slow to see this?!
Cue the Pina Colada song.
Apparently I was so programmed to know that Russ is not my guy that I couldn’t see how he was.
Melanie would say this happens more than we realize. And I’m inclined to agree.
I did this before when I insisted the renters were late with their payment, but the money was in the account the whole time. (I had seriously checked it well over a dozen times and literally couldn’t see it while telling my story of “it’s not here.”)
When I started my coaching practice and believed Utahns were too close-minded for LOA coaching, and it turns out there was a local meetup of LOA savvy business owners who’d been gathering in my neighborhood for years.
Because when we’re used to seeing what we don’t want or appreciate, it’s hard to see what Universe is delivering. Especially when we’re prejudiced about where it comes from or how it gets here.
It can literally be right under our nose, but we don’t see it because we’re beating a different drum, as Abe would say.
Anyway, I tell this story in answer to a question I got this morning about why our fabulous men seem to get less fabulous over time.
I don’t think it’s that they get less fabulous over time as much as it is that we stop seeing their fabulousness over time.
We start seeing their shortcomings and flaws. We switch focus from what we love to what irritates the hell out of us.
Until one day we mistake them for a stranger and recognize their fabulousness yet again.
Okay, maybe that was just me.
But my point is we get whatever we focus on.
Thank you, Universe, for tricking me into dropping my guard about my been-there-done-that ex and letting me see him yet again as the hot guy I first knew him to be.
In fact, it makes me want to commit to seeing not just the lovely things in the guy under my roof right now but in everyone and everything around me. Because I think Melanie’s right – everything I want is already here and I just need to develop eyes to see it.
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Jeannette Maw is the LOA party host at GVU and publisher of the rave reviewed Good Vibe newsletter, which you can subscribe to here.
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